Back to the village on monday!
So my in-service training conference was good. Bullets because I'm lazy.
* The food situation was awesome....I ate pizza....yes, pizza. Awesome. Last night was delicious too, a lot of people had left already, but there were still about 20 people in the volunteer house because there were health and education volunteers travelling through town too, so we decided to make a big family dinner of enchiladas, salad, and of course, rice (but it was just a side-dish, imagine that!!!!) So yes, food. One of the main reasons I was looking forward to coming here. Maybe next time though, I should remember that it's not always worth the stomach issues to go overboard on things like ice cream.
* Seeing my training group was beyond awesome. We went out on the town, danced, partied, oh....and learned some stuff too, haha! Now but great times were had, and got some good information too. But yeah, between the big picture sharing night and just talking about all of our experiences, it really showed how incredibly diverse this island is. Some people (like me) have not seen a completely clear sunny day in maybe months, some people haven't seen rain since they got to their sites. Some people have abundant (though that term is relevent here) food, some have very little variety available. Some have rainforest, some have desert. That, and also hearing about the cultural differences...the differences in "fady"s here (things that are taboo) was interesting too. Overall I think people are doing well. We all seem to have gone through similar feelings at some point, even though our sites and situations are so different. I feel really lucky to be in the group I'm in. We get along really well and I feel like no matter who I hang out with at any given time, I'm totally happy no matter who is there because each and every one of them are awesome. Really...it's like having a family here...we have each other's backs. One guy even dug out the parasy I found under my toenail yesterday while we were all hanging out on the lawn. Now if that's not friendship, I don't know what is! (thanks Brenden!) haha.
* Got re-inspired for work in my village. I learned some new technical things I can try out there (like grafting lychee trees, building water filters out of buckets, more about AIDS and environmental education, a crazy-amazing tree that produces leaves that are basically multi-vitamins, etc. etc.) I also talked to the boss-man about some project ideas, and also the people at WCS (wildlife conservation society) and felt like things became clearer by becoming more open-ended. Hah, that doesn't sound like it makes much sense, but basically my peace corps boss told me that whatever I choose to do with my time here will probably be fine with him, as long as I'm doing something the community wants and is appropriate for an environment volunteer. He said that if I did nothing but environmental education in the schools and with my environment club for the next 2 years, it would be fine with him. Then I talked to WCS, and they said they'd be fine with it if I just became almost like an employee for them and went out researching with them for months at a time, or worked on traditional peace corps work only (the PC boss agrees with that too). Basically, I am a Peace Corps Volunteer that works with a conservation NGO, but depending on what I want to do and where I want to spend most of my time (in my village or the forest/banking town), I can choose my own balance. I'm happy to have so much freedom, but it's so open-ended and dependent on me to make my own job, that self- discipline and motivation are going to be so key. It's good practice for me I think, since those are basically the same skills I'll need to try and make it as a freelance illustrator/muralist when I go home too. On top of all that, we also had some rousing discussions on what it is to be a peace corps volunteer versus a development worker for a different organization. The difference is, we actually live with the people, live like the people (for the most part), speak the language of the people, and overall become attatched personally to the people we are trying to help. The goal of starting sustainable community development projects is only one of the 3 goals of peace corps, and I think we came to the consensus that the other 2 goals of cultural exchange are just as important. As one volunteer put it, "the fact that I blast Led Zepplin from my porch is still doing my job because I am bringing the awesome music of the U.S. to my village". A friend told me that being an "ambassador of the heart" is something I should keep in mind. I've remembered that and I can see that even if my projects flop, still the fact that I try to smile all the time even if I'm feeling less than cheerful, say hello to everyone and/or stop and chat, be a friendly and overall optomistic and bright spirit when people are going through rough times (especially right now when it's the hungry season), work hard in their fields with them, and on everything no matter what, still makes this whole thing worthwhile and helpful. A guest speaker in training told us that if we can majorly influence just a few people's life trajectories by just being a cheerleader and encouraging their dreams, we have done enough as volunteers. It's this thought that comforts me when I look back on my last 3 months and don't see enough "stuff" I've done, or brought to them. I guess it's not all about bringing in money and building "stuff"... the un-tangible things seem like they'll be just as important too. I think I've organized it in my mind like this:
My overall goals for service:
* To do something to help my community and their environment in the long-run after I'm gone. (by doing environmental and english education. English is important because it helps people get better jobs sometimes...they can become park guides, etc. Environmental education will pay off later when the kids grow up and respect their environment and understand a little better why it's important to try and keep it healthy...then tell other people about it)
* To do something to help in the short term. (i.e. projects like building a tree nursery for re-forestation/food/cash crop production and making a chicken house.)
* To dig down as deep as I can within myself to learn from them, immerse myself as deeply as I can in their culture, learn to love them, and be as bright and happy and optomistic a spirit as I possibly can while I'm there.
Anyways, I'm armed with more technical info/ideas for projects, resources for bringing money to those projects, and a better sense of what it is I'm supposed to be doing. Feels good. I'm a little nervous about going back, since I've been speaking english for 2 weeks straight...haha. I don't exactly know where to start.... I don't have any plans for when I get back, except I'm teaching cookstove making on the 26th to a mom's group. But I think with the nature of this, you can't and probably shouldn't plan too much. One thing will lead to another, ideas will come, I'll get some things going, and will hopefully find myself busy and "in a job" soon...haha.
O.K, enough for now...... last post for awhile. May possibly be going to a AIDS awareness bike racein Tamatave in October, and if I find internet there, I'll update. (me and my PC friend might try to actually bike there!!! haha good times) Love from Mad-a-who-ha! Samy Matanjaka e! (we'll both go and be strong at the same time. wow... that sounds silly in english. You get the idea though. ) LOVE!
Corie
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Mbolatsara daholo e!
Greetings freinds and family! It's been awhile! Well, here's my update.... yes, I realize it's a novel, but it's been 3 months, ok? haha
So I have been in a world so cut off from everything for quite awhile now....the village is like a bubble. When it was new and I was lonely in the beginning, it was pretty hard to be in that bubble. But now that I like what's inside the bubble, it's been weird to leave it. Even going to my banking town has been strange. (I remember being in my friend's house there, trying to read a letter as the sun was going down and it was getting dark,and actually jumping a little when my friend turned on the lights for me. woah. electricity.) But the capital today...being in a big city. Seeing alot of other white faces. Seeing all kinds of fruits and vegetables for sale. Taking my first hot shower in 3 months. Switching my greetings back to official malagasy. Speaking a lot of english too. Eating cheese. Wearing socks for maybe the second time in 3 months. Anyways, it all doesn't sound like much maybe, but I'm feeling overstimulated, and already sort of miss being in the flow of the village life.
So yeah....the village life. Where to even begin. Maybe you heard that I was having a hard time for awhile from my parents, or maybe I wrote you aletter, trying desperately to feel connected to something familiar. Anyways, it was hard, and admittedly, still is not easy. But life is about 10,000 times better. Here's why:
~ #1 I got better at Malagasy. When you have no one to speak english with,the language comes quickly. Though there's still whole conversations between people that are lost on me, and I still probably speak like a little kid, but I'm good enough now to: explain how I'm feeling about something. Argue about some things. Make jokes that people laugh at. Stand up for myself. Overall, I get by...and I can speak well enough to show some personality. So that was the basis of everything to follow!
~ #2 I made friends! Let me introduce them: First of all, I sort of adopted a family, or they adopted me...not sure how it happened. They are a 20-30 something couple with 2 kids, a boy and a girl. (the girl is the one in the video I posted). They are completely awesome, and I drop by their house usually twice a day. The mom has a laugh like Beavis from "Beavis and Butthead" (remember that show?), and she laughs a lot at her own jokes like my own mom... cracks me up. They take care of me as if I was their blood. Hired a babysitter for their kids so they could do the 20k bikeride at 5am in the pouring rain with me to the town where I caught the plane to come here, just to see me off and say goodbye, then rode back. They tell me they're there if I ever have a problem, and when something comes up, they seem to give me advice that could have come straight from my parent's mouths (if they too, spoke Gasy, haha). Then I have my gang of teenage boys. A couple of them are in the environment club I inherited from the last volunteer. I thought they were so abnoxious at first, doing this stupid voice all the time that was their joke. It became a "if you can't beat em', join 'em" situation, and one day, I started doing the voice. They slapped me high fives and I became one of the clan. That, and I am really probably a teenage boy at heart, so I crack jokes with them, and laugh at theirs (if I understand them). One of them, without fail, comes by every night after dinner, just to talk, listen to the radio or play cards with me. He brings over his friends who are scared of me sometimes... one by one they've started getting used to me. He's even started doing what some of the women do: cook food for me to make me "tamana" (well-settled and comfortable in a new place). He'll ask me if I like a certain food, I'll say yes, then the next night he comes over with the stuff and we cook it together. Also, he somehow knows how to fix everything that breaks in my house. He's my best friend in the village. Also, I definitely do the "imposing my friendship on people" thing I talked about in my last blog. Sometimes it can take half a day toget from one end of the village to the other, since I just sit down with new people on their porches or whatever and hang out. Not exactly completely comfortable all the time, but I'm becoming more outgoing. Or if I pass by and someone says hi and yells "mondrosoa!!" (come on in/over!) then I go and chat/do what they're doing for awhile. (p.s. my dad must havemisunderstood...not rude to leave if someone's doing a chore.) Anyways, got some good people I feel like I can trust. Still imposing friendship on people, looking for more...haha.
~ #3 I started working the land with the people. When I first got there, people were harvesting rice, I did that a couple times with people. Then took a break from going to the rice fields when my feet got infected (they're fine now, a call to the doctor and a dose of amoxicillin from my med kit....plus there were little leeches on them in the forest and bug-parasite-things laying their egg sacks in my toes, and I lost 2 toenails to the rice paddies....my feet are ugly...haha. p.s. but don't worry it's really not as gross as it sounds!), and by then it was time to plant new rice. So I started going with different families on the days they went. It's a great way to kill time, make friends, gain people's respect and learn more about rice farming in general. It's gotten people talking about how I'm not afraid to work hard and get muddy (mud literally up to my hips sometimes...and I'm tall. I feel bad for them...they're pretty short.) So yeah, I love it actually, it's fun, I've gotten faster and better at it, andI'm looking for a little plot of my own, so next time I can work the improved rice technique and do trainings for people with it (plus don't have to buy rice if I grow it myself!)
~#4 I should also mention I'm used to eating rice 3 times a day, and can almost, aaaalmost eat as much rice as them. hahah. I actually gained the nickname "kamo mahandro" with some people, which means lazy cooking... haha. Yeah I cook rice and some type of boiled greens usually, sometimes fish and sometimes beans, but that takes too long. I've never even opened the cookbook peace corps gave us, haha. There's actually not a ton of food to choose from anyways, I eat what they do. But actually there's stuff that's really delicious and I crave it now...it's called soaba: boiled manioc, sugar and coconut milk, made into this porrige stuff. Amazing. Also this huuuuge potato thing that grows underground and is as big as a log. Weird food, but I like it.
~#5 The music and dance. There's so much reggae it's not even funny. If you know me pretty well, you know how into that I am... lucky dube and bob marley are always on the radio in my part of the country. And the Betsimisaraka (the group of people in the area) have awesome awesome music....can't really explain it...loud, fast, acordian, guitar, keyboard, reggae beats too...just really good. I had my friends write out lyrics to my favorite song here, and can kind of sing along to it. They love that...whenever it's on the radio they're like, "corie it's your song!" haha. Also, there's been a few dances, and it's like the one time I stay up past 9pm in the village. They love that I go dancing with them, it's really really really a good time. Wish they had them more often... when they do, these people know how to party.
~#6 I have a sense of purpose here. Remember that stuff about learning whatthe people want before starting projects? Well there's techniques and activities we can do to figure it out. I held a huge meeting a couple weeks ago for basically all the important people in the commune (community of all the little villages around mine, the commune head). So only about 5 of the10 villages showed up, but it was the presidents of the different associations around, so I got a lot of good info, but still should probably hold another meeting. I've also been going around to the different associations and asking them to all get together so we can meet each other and talk, so there's been a lot of those too. So far, I've gotten more ideas for projects than I can possibly do in 2 years I think, but that's good. NowI just need to sort through them and figure out #1 who the most mazoto(ambitious/diligent/with the most follow-through) ones are probably going to be, #2 what's the most directly effective in helping the environment here, and #3 what I can actually get done with a peace corps budget and time frame. So far, I know for sure that once school starts in september, I'll be working with the environmental club in the middle/high school more and teaching them environmental curriculum once in awhile, taking them on week-long camp-type things through the forest to teach stuff at the little villages that are waaaaaaaay out in the boondocks, and doing projects together (we've already built a fuel-efficient cookstove as an example, so now we can do more....maybe sell them to make money for the club's trips, and already planted a ton of trees in the schoolyard out of the tree nursery started by the last volunteer). Also, I want to work with these two associations in the neighboring village that wants to work on reforestationin their rainforest and also learning the improved rice farming. I just took a giant hike with them through the territory they are supposed to "save" according to a certain NGO I won't name, that signed the territory over to this group of villagers, but it's been 4 years and the've gotten absolutely no help or money to do any of this "saving" business, and were brushed off when they asked. They told me they've been waiting for 4 years, and they thanked God that I came. Yikes. Also I need to write a grant to get this other association money to buy a chicken house and bring in a chicken raising technician because #1 there's not enough protein, and food in general, and #2 if they don't get enough domestic meat, they eat lemurs. not joking. So starting with that. Here in the capital, we'll learn about grant-writing and getting projects off the ground and all that, so that's cool. Oh also I painted a big mural about health in the hospital, in the room where the moms rest after they give birth. It's a lady holding a baby, in front of the Malagasy flag, and pictures of the 3 food groups people should be eating everyday, with a message about it in Malagasy too. People seem to like it...at least it brightens up the dingy place. Sure felt good to paint again too! I also got the "go-ahead" to paint like 3 more...haha. One in the middle/high school with the environment club, one on the commune building (where the mayor and stuff works), and one on the preschool. Sweet!
~#7 I live 5-10 minutes from the beach, and a 2 hour hike from the most beautiful place Ive ever seen. That place is a waterfall so powerful and magical it would take any and all other thoughts out of anyone's head, surrounded by rainforest. I hiked there with a bunch of people, and climbed a ton of crazy rocks to get to this one beautiful lookout point with only acouple of them. Sitting on those rocks with the one person I was saying is my best friend in the village, just looking out at it, is probably one of my best memories so far in madagascar. Overall, the beauty of this place is unexplainable...you'll just have to come visit and see for yourself!!
ok...so now for the bad, haha.
- Still living with people in poverty. Yep, now used to not having the comforts of back home, but I know I still can always go back, and still will never have to worry about not having enough money to get by. Even on the small peace corps salary, I bet I still have more money than the mayor. And I always have the option of going home. No matter how comfortable I am here, no matter how good of friends I have, I will always always have more than them. I will always stick out. I will always live in a fishbowl. I will always have to think about who is really my friend because of who they are and who I am as people, or if they just want something from me. And I always have it in the back of my mind, that eventually, I'll have to leave them. A lot of things separate me from totally fitting in. The other day my friend who is in the environmental club told his mom that I was "already Malagasy"and his mom said "no, corie is white. she is a vazaha, and when you are a vazaha, you will always be a vazaha." Though the moments I forget that, and they forget that...the moments I am just another person, just Corie, joking with her friends, not Corie the vazaha, are the moments I cherish here.
- People here can be judgemental. It's sort of the culture to talk about people behind their backs, or even in front of their faces as if they're not there, and to compare everyone to everyone else. It gets more than a little aggravating. I try to ignore it. Also, people here just like their gossip...and they like talking about the vazaha (me,the white one)...it gets old. I just try to ignore it and as my family here says "just do good work, make friends with people who you like, don't worry about the others and what they say".
- Not going to go into a whole "it's not fair, the poor people are suffering" bit, but it's not fair, and they are suffering.....just for the record, and it makes me sad. Now, it's personal.
Anyways, life is good, I'm doing well and feeling like this is where I want to be. Take care everybody, and send me letters! haha
Love you all!!! Tsara mandry mifoaha e! (let's all sleep and then wake up! literally....but it basically is like sleep good)
So I have been in a world so cut off from everything for quite awhile now....the village is like a bubble. When it was new and I was lonely in the beginning, it was pretty hard to be in that bubble. But now that I like what's inside the bubble, it's been weird to leave it. Even going to my banking town has been strange. (I remember being in my friend's house there, trying to read a letter as the sun was going down and it was getting dark,and actually jumping a little when my friend turned on the lights for me. woah. electricity.) But the capital today...being in a big city. Seeing alot of other white faces. Seeing all kinds of fruits and vegetables for sale. Taking my first hot shower in 3 months. Switching my greetings back to official malagasy. Speaking a lot of english too. Eating cheese. Wearing socks for maybe the second time in 3 months. Anyways, it all doesn't sound like much maybe, but I'm feeling overstimulated, and already sort of miss being in the flow of the village life.
So yeah....the village life. Where to even begin. Maybe you heard that I was having a hard time for awhile from my parents, or maybe I wrote you aletter, trying desperately to feel connected to something familiar. Anyways, it was hard, and admittedly, still is not easy. But life is about 10,000 times better. Here's why:
~ #1 I got better at Malagasy. When you have no one to speak english with,the language comes quickly. Though there's still whole conversations between people that are lost on me, and I still probably speak like a little kid, but I'm good enough now to: explain how I'm feeling about something. Argue about some things. Make jokes that people laugh at. Stand up for myself. Overall, I get by...and I can speak well enough to show some personality. So that was the basis of everything to follow!
~ #2 I made friends! Let me introduce them: First of all, I sort of adopted a family, or they adopted me...not sure how it happened. They are a 20-30 something couple with 2 kids, a boy and a girl. (the girl is the one in the video I posted). They are completely awesome, and I drop by their house usually twice a day. The mom has a laugh like Beavis from "Beavis and Butthead" (remember that show?), and she laughs a lot at her own jokes like my own mom... cracks me up. They take care of me as if I was their blood. Hired a babysitter for their kids so they could do the 20k bikeride at 5am in the pouring rain with me to the town where I caught the plane to come here, just to see me off and say goodbye, then rode back. They tell me they're there if I ever have a problem, and when something comes up, they seem to give me advice that could have come straight from my parent's mouths (if they too, spoke Gasy, haha). Then I have my gang of teenage boys. A couple of them are in the environment club I inherited from the last volunteer. I thought they were so abnoxious at first, doing this stupid voice all the time that was their joke. It became a "if you can't beat em', join 'em" situation, and one day, I started doing the voice. They slapped me high fives and I became one of the clan. That, and I am really probably a teenage boy at heart, so I crack jokes with them, and laugh at theirs (if I understand them). One of them, without fail, comes by every night after dinner, just to talk, listen to the radio or play cards with me. He brings over his friends who are scared of me sometimes... one by one they've started getting used to me. He's even started doing what some of the women do: cook food for me to make me "tamana" (well-settled and comfortable in a new place). He'll ask me if I like a certain food, I'll say yes, then the next night he comes over with the stuff and we cook it together. Also, he somehow knows how to fix everything that breaks in my house. He's my best friend in the village. Also, I definitely do the "imposing my friendship on people" thing I talked about in my last blog. Sometimes it can take half a day toget from one end of the village to the other, since I just sit down with new people on their porches or whatever and hang out. Not exactly completely comfortable all the time, but I'm becoming more outgoing. Or if I pass by and someone says hi and yells "mondrosoa!!" (come on in/over!) then I go and chat/do what they're doing for awhile. (p.s. my dad must havemisunderstood...not rude to leave if someone's doing a chore.) Anyways, got some good people I feel like I can trust. Still imposing friendship on people, looking for more...haha.
~ #3 I started working the land with the people. When I first got there, people were harvesting rice, I did that a couple times with people. Then took a break from going to the rice fields when my feet got infected (they're fine now, a call to the doctor and a dose of amoxicillin from my med kit....plus there were little leeches on them in the forest and bug-parasite-things laying their egg sacks in my toes, and I lost 2 toenails to the rice paddies....my feet are ugly...haha. p.s. but don't worry it's really not as gross as it sounds!), and by then it was time to plant new rice. So I started going with different families on the days they went. It's a great way to kill time, make friends, gain people's respect and learn more about rice farming in general. It's gotten people talking about how I'm not afraid to work hard and get muddy (mud literally up to my hips sometimes...and I'm tall. I feel bad for them...they're pretty short.) So yeah, I love it actually, it's fun, I've gotten faster and better at it, andI'm looking for a little plot of my own, so next time I can work the improved rice technique and do trainings for people with it (plus don't have to buy rice if I grow it myself!)
~#4 I should also mention I'm used to eating rice 3 times a day, and can almost, aaaalmost eat as much rice as them. hahah. I actually gained the nickname "kamo mahandro" with some people, which means lazy cooking... haha. Yeah I cook rice and some type of boiled greens usually, sometimes fish and sometimes beans, but that takes too long. I've never even opened the cookbook peace corps gave us, haha. There's actually not a ton of food to choose from anyways, I eat what they do. But actually there's stuff that's really delicious and I crave it now...it's called soaba: boiled manioc, sugar and coconut milk, made into this porrige stuff. Amazing. Also this huuuuge potato thing that grows underground and is as big as a log. Weird food, but I like it.
~#5 The music and dance. There's so much reggae it's not even funny. If you know me pretty well, you know how into that I am... lucky dube and bob marley are always on the radio in my part of the country. And the Betsimisaraka (the group of people in the area) have awesome awesome music....can't really explain it...loud, fast, acordian, guitar, keyboard, reggae beats too...just really good. I had my friends write out lyrics to my favorite song here, and can kind of sing along to it. They love that...whenever it's on the radio they're like, "corie it's your song!" haha. Also, there's been a few dances, and it's like the one time I stay up past 9pm in the village. They love that I go dancing with them, it's really really really a good time. Wish they had them more often... when they do, these people know how to party.
~#6 I have a sense of purpose here. Remember that stuff about learning whatthe people want before starting projects? Well there's techniques and activities we can do to figure it out. I held a huge meeting a couple weeks ago for basically all the important people in the commune (community of all the little villages around mine, the commune head). So only about 5 of the10 villages showed up, but it was the presidents of the different associations around, so I got a lot of good info, but still should probably hold another meeting. I've also been going around to the different associations and asking them to all get together so we can meet each other and talk, so there's been a lot of those too. So far, I've gotten more ideas for projects than I can possibly do in 2 years I think, but that's good. NowI just need to sort through them and figure out #1 who the most mazoto(ambitious/diligent/with the most follow-through) ones are probably going to be, #2 what's the most directly effective in helping the environment here, and #3 what I can actually get done with a peace corps budget and time frame. So far, I know for sure that once school starts in september, I'll be working with the environmental club in the middle/high school more and teaching them environmental curriculum once in awhile, taking them on week-long camp-type things through the forest to teach stuff at the little villages that are waaaaaaaay out in the boondocks, and doing projects together (we've already built a fuel-efficient cookstove as an example, so now we can do more....maybe sell them to make money for the club's trips, and already planted a ton of trees in the schoolyard out of the tree nursery started by the last volunteer). Also, I want to work with these two associations in the neighboring village that wants to work on reforestationin their rainforest and also learning the improved rice farming. I just took a giant hike with them through the territory they are supposed to "save" according to a certain NGO I won't name, that signed the territory over to this group of villagers, but it's been 4 years and the've gotten absolutely no help or money to do any of this "saving" business, and were brushed off when they asked. They told me they've been waiting for 4 years, and they thanked God that I came. Yikes. Also I need to write a grant to get this other association money to buy a chicken house and bring in a chicken raising technician because #1 there's not enough protein, and food in general, and #2 if they don't get enough domestic meat, they eat lemurs. not joking. So starting with that. Here in the capital, we'll learn about grant-writing and getting projects off the ground and all that, so that's cool. Oh also I painted a big mural about health in the hospital, in the room where the moms rest after they give birth. It's a lady holding a baby, in front of the Malagasy flag, and pictures of the 3 food groups people should be eating everyday, with a message about it in Malagasy too. People seem to like it...at least it brightens up the dingy place. Sure felt good to paint again too! I also got the "go-ahead" to paint like 3 more...haha. One in the middle/high school with the environment club, one on the commune building (where the mayor and stuff works), and one on the preschool. Sweet!
~#7 I live 5-10 minutes from the beach, and a 2 hour hike from the most beautiful place Ive ever seen. That place is a waterfall so powerful and magical it would take any and all other thoughts out of anyone's head, surrounded by rainforest. I hiked there with a bunch of people, and climbed a ton of crazy rocks to get to this one beautiful lookout point with only acouple of them. Sitting on those rocks with the one person I was saying is my best friend in the village, just looking out at it, is probably one of my best memories so far in madagascar. Overall, the beauty of this place is unexplainable...you'll just have to come visit and see for yourself!!
ok...so now for the bad, haha.
- Still living with people in poverty. Yep, now used to not having the comforts of back home, but I know I still can always go back, and still will never have to worry about not having enough money to get by. Even on the small peace corps salary, I bet I still have more money than the mayor. And I always have the option of going home. No matter how comfortable I am here, no matter how good of friends I have, I will always always have more than them. I will always stick out. I will always live in a fishbowl. I will always have to think about who is really my friend because of who they are and who I am as people, or if they just want something from me. And I always have it in the back of my mind, that eventually, I'll have to leave them. A lot of things separate me from totally fitting in. The other day my friend who is in the environmental club told his mom that I was "already Malagasy"and his mom said "no, corie is white. she is a vazaha, and when you are a vazaha, you will always be a vazaha." Though the moments I forget that, and they forget that...the moments I am just another person, just Corie, joking with her friends, not Corie the vazaha, are the moments I cherish here.
- People here can be judgemental. It's sort of the culture to talk about people behind their backs, or even in front of their faces as if they're not there, and to compare everyone to everyone else. It gets more than a little aggravating. I try to ignore it. Also, people here just like their gossip...and they like talking about the vazaha (me,the white one)...it gets old. I just try to ignore it and as my family here says "just do good work, make friends with people who you like, don't worry about the others and what they say".
- Not going to go into a whole "it's not fair, the poor people are suffering" bit, but it's not fair, and they are suffering.....just for the record, and it makes me sad. Now, it's personal.
Anyways, life is good, I'm doing well and feeling like this is where I want to be. Take care everybody, and send me letters! haha
Love you all!!! Tsara mandry mifoaha e! (let's all sleep and then wake up! literally....but it basically is like sleep good)
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